Crushing Pride: Coming Clean

“By insolence (pride) comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.” Proverbs 13:10

When was the last time you were in a “good” verbal fight? I mean really…

All of us from time to time have been in a war of words over something that really didn’t matter in the end. If you are married or ever been married, I’m sure you can remember some knock-down-drag out arguments that left you up late, emotionally drained, tired, hurt, frustrated, lonely, misunderstood, and even possibly bitter. And I’m sure you wondered to yourself, “How did we get here and end up in this mess?”

Guess what is interwoven into most of our arguments? That’s right – pride. Whenever there’s a fight, argument and disagreement, pride is somewhere lurking around desiring to be center stage. And I believe that you know what I’m talking about. Some of us have experienced this with supervisors, colleagues, wives, children, relatives, baby-mamas, managers, neighbors and even close friends. Pride creates tension and we’ve all felt its affects.

Think about your worst argument for a second. What would have happened in the midst of that verbal assault if you would have taken your eyes off of the other person and confessed and repented of your own pride getting the best of you? You are probably saying to yourself, “Well if she didn’t do this…” or “If he didn’t do that…”

You see, we all struggle with taking personal ownership for our own pride. Let’s face it men, we won’t to always win! We want to be right! We want everyone else to be wrong! We won’t our way to be the right way! We want everyone to listen to us! We want everyone else to “bow down” to our point in the matter! The other persons wrong always captivates our attention more than our own wrongs (Matthew 7:1-5).

Here’s some freeing news - arguments are a normal part of every human relationship but strife (quarrels) comes when we let pride go unchecked, unaddressed and un-confessed. However, something amazing happens when we come clean with our pride. It’s as if our ears become unclogged. For example, whenever I lock horns with someone in an argument, as soon as I acknowledge my sin and wrongdoing, the battle seems to die down instantly. Why? Strife simmers down when we allow the truth of our error to take our eyes off the other person. When we choose to turn the lights on our own pride, choose not to defend ourselves, own our own hang-ups and issues, acknowledging our own wrongdoings, it allows for progression towards health in our relationships.

So the next time you get fired up at someone, put your own pride in check and watch God simmer down the fire. Let’s work on coming clean with our own pride this week as we interact and relate with those around us. Praying for you!

Crushing Pride: Idolatry Awaits the Forgetful

“And if you forget the Lord your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, ‘I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish. Like the nations that the Lord makes to perish before you, so shall you perish, because you would not obey the voice of the Lord your God.’” Deuteronomy 8:19

Forgetting God always leads to a dependency upon self and a reliance on our own strength. Why? We need God more than we are willing to admit. Every morning I wake up, I tell my flesh, that I desperately need God. I’ve done this over the years so that my Type A and driven personality doesn’t convince me that I can live a day without the grace, love and power of God.

What does remembering God do? It puts us in a posture of humility and dependence upon Him for living. When we remember God, we recognize immediately that He is the Creator, the King, the Almighty, the Savior and the Sustainer of the universe, and so much more.

In the case of the children of Israel, God was trying to remind them not to “forget Him” when they got into the Promised Land. God literally said, “Don’t think it was your power and might that got you where you are today.” Men, we need to hear this everyday!

Forgetting God, not only can lead to pride, it also can lead to idolatry. What do I mean by idolatry (Exodus 20:3)? We all have a sinful bent within us to forget God and worship everything else but Him. You see, even though Adam and Eve were created to worship God, they chose to ignore or forget what God said to them in Genesis 2:16. Because they decided to give greater allegiance to their own appetites, desires and pride rather than what God said to them, they jacked up all humanity. And guess what? The result is that our lives have been radically changed forever.

That’s why we need Jesus and the love He showed towards us. Don’t forget Him and what He has done for us by dying on the cross for our sin.

I’m reminding you and myself today not to forget God. Remember Him so that you don’t worship and live in awe of your own desires, aspirations, pride, “successes”, achievements, self-sufficiency, image, careers, women, lusts, “self-deception”, etc… You fill in the blank with whatever you devote attention and worship other than God.

Men, our entire existence is because of God. Nothing deserves “the glory” and our devotion more than Him. Remember, we have been created to worship God, not just only Sundays but everyday of our lives. Humble yourself and remember daily to worship God or you WILL substitute God with something else that doesn’t deserve your awe, devotion and attention.

I know God is speaking to you because He is speaking to me. Remember God and worship Him. If we don’t remember Him, we run the risk of coming to ruin like those who already worship everything else but God.

This week, develop your strategy for remembering God and share your ideas with your brothers.

Crushing Pride: Remember God

“Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day. And if you forget the Lord your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I solemnly warn you today that you shall surely perish.” Deuteronomy 8:17-19

What was the last thing your wife or somebody else asked you to do? Can you remember what it was? I’ll give you a moment to think about it… Do you need more time?

Hey, let’s all face it brothers, we all FORGET stuff, don’t we? Forgetting things is really innocently a part of life. However, some forgetfulness comes with a high price. Case in point, if you come in everyday for work saying, “I forgot what time I was supposed to show up, your boss would probably show YOU the door.” Also, if you forgot to bring your wedding ring to the altar during your marriage ceremony, you’re probably still haunted by your forgetfulness and in the dog house with your wife. What if you continue telling your wife that you keep forgetting everyday to brush your teeth but still want one of those passionate kisses that you like? Now, that’s nasty forgetfulness…

But if you forget to take out the trash maybe once every other month, there would be no big deal. Or if you forget to put the toilet seat down every now and then, it wouldn’t be anything to stress over (depending on who you’re married too)… Bottom line, there are some things that are critical to remember and there are some things that are not so critical, as long as it doesn’t become consistent and habitual.

In Deuteronomy, Moses, Israel’s 120 year old leader is preparing a new generation destined for the Promised Land after surviving 40 years in the wilderness. Being proactive, Moses encourages them to obey, not following the horrific examples of their predecessors. Throughout his discourse he tells the people over and over “beware lest you forget.” Why would he say this? And what does this have to do with “crushing pride” in my life? Moses understands that forgetfulness tends to lead to arrogance and disobedience. Think about it? When we forget over and over to do something, we are communicating to ourselves and to others that “we don’t need to remember, no matter how important it is or anyone thinks it is.” For example, what happens when you ask your son to clean up his room every day and he doesn’t? He casually tells you everyday that he keeps forgetting. What is he communicating to you? Unless he has a mental or developmental challenge, he is saying, “Dad, what you are asking me to remember is not important to me even though it’s important to you!”

Forgetfulness also can lead to disobedience because it “excuses” ones ability to obey what has been instructed.

Moses was telling this “new generation” not to become deceived into thinking that their own hands had anything to do with them receiving all the benefits of the Promised Land. In other words, “Don’t ever think that it’s by your power or might that you receive anything.” Moses says, “Everything you have is a gift of grace from God.”

It is so easy for us men to think that WE had something to do with our “success”, “progress” and our “wealth.” Everything we have is a gift of grace from God! However, pride convinces us to say, “I did it, that’s why I’m enjoying it.” It also says, “I go to work everyday and make it happen, God didn’t have anything to do with what I accomplish.” But here’s the leveler, “What if God decided to allow your heart to stop beating?” Or what if God allowed a blood clot to lodge in your main artery which would stop the flow of blood to your heart? Everything we have, are and ever will attain to be is because of God whether we accept that or not.

Listen to me! Remember God! Remember God! Remember God! Don’t forget that “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” – James 1:17

Remember, it is God who deserves all of the glory, not us.

As you seek to crush pride in your life ask Him, “Jesus, please keep reminding me that it’s you I need! It’s you that has provided for everything I am and everything I have. It is you who has given me wealth, success, good friends, a family, a place to live, influence, good health, food to eat, soundness of mind, people who love me, children, etc… Help me to remember you and make time in my day to honor you, serve you, learn about you and surrender my life to you. In Jesus name, Amen”

Next week, I’ll show you how “not remembering God” leads to worshiping everything but HIM.

His Instructions Matter

“And the Lord commanded the man, saying, ‘You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.’” (Genesis 2:17)

After God created everything, He put Adam in the Garden of Eden to “serve” and “maintain” the garden. Man’s first responsibilities given from the mouth of God was to thrive where God put him by serving and maintaining the garden.

So here it is men, serve and maintain where God has placed you. Alright! So what does this have to do with pride?

When we trace back the steps of pride in the human race we must carefully explore the first few chapters of Genesis. In Genesis 3, Satan tempted Adam and Eve to disobey God’s original command given in Genesis 2:17. Satan’s primary tactics are always to cause us to devalue, minimize, doubt and ignore the value of what God has to say. Adam knew the truth but didn’t value the truth enough to defend his wife against the lies of the enemy.

What can we learn? We can learn something here as it relates to the sin of pride. Ignoring the first command that God gave Adam led to the downfall of the human race (Romans 3:23). God gave Adam specific instructions that would have helped and guided him in obeying his Creator and stewarding his responsibilities but what did Adam do? Adam failed to value what God said to him.

I think one of the important steps in our victory over pride is taking heed to what God says to us through His Word.

As a man, when you were growing up, did anyone engrain within you that God’s Word mattered? I think personally as men, we grow up full of pride because we are all sinners but also because no one says, “God’s instructions matter.” So what do we do? We become instructors of ourselves and live based on our own desires instead of according to what God says.

Our first step towards humility is valuing everything that God says to us in His Word. If you own a copy of the Scriptures, I encourage you to read them. Don’t be afraid of them because they are meant to help, guide and protect you. Listen to me, pride says, “I don’t need what God has to say… I only need myself.” Humility says, “I desperately need everything God says to me in His Word.”

Over the next few days, dive into the Scriptures and demonstrate your need for HIM. Ask God, “Lord, help me live today, dependent on you and everything you have to say to me through your Word.”

The Dreaded Stiff Arm

During this year’s football season, I was astonished at the striking resemblance in play between Walter Payton and Adrian Peterson, running back for the Minnesota Vikings. Recently, I caught a few highlights on ESPN as the sports media made comparisons between the two of them. One clip showed Payton, a.k.a. “Sweetness” running the ball with an oncoming defender approaching him. Running full speed, Walter Payton would almost come to a standstill, juked to the left, rotated his hips, then juked to the right and headed for the sidelines. After evasively avoiding his opponent, it would appear that he was headed for a touchdown until an eager, aggressive and winded cornerback or safety caught up to him, attempting to thrust Payton out of bounds. However, unbeknownst to him, he would experience a HARD stiff arm to the helmet from Payton that would appear to have broken his neck. Once the defender realized that his chances of tackling him was over, Payton held the ball out to the side and high stepped freely on his toes into the end zone.

Every time I witnessed a Payton stiff arm, I only grimaced at what it would have felt like. Personally, I have received stiff arms not by Walter Payton but by Jesus Christ. I’ll never experience a Payton stiff arm but over my lifetime I have experienced distance from God. How so? The Bible says in James 4:6, “But He (Jesus) gives more grace. Therefore it says, God opposes (stiff arms) the proud but gives grace to the humble.” There have been times in my life when I have lived prideful and independent of God in order to please myself. I see pride in my life and guess what? God sees pride in your life. As a matter of fact, God sees it and hates it (Proverbs 6:17; Psalm 101:5). To be biblically honest, pride disgusts God. Why? Because pride is at the root of all sin and God hates sin.

But listen to some great news, in spite of our pride, God loves us passionately but hates when we take the initiative to exalt ourselves as god instead of finding our sufficiency in Him. Charles Bridges (Theologian) says, “Pride lifts up one’s heart against God and ‘contends for supremacy’ with Him.” Jonathan Edwards (18th Century theologian) calls pride “the worst viper that is in the heart” and “the greatest disturber of the soul’s peace and sweet communion with Christ. The proud person seeks to glorify himself and not God thus depriving God of what He is only worthy to receive.”

When do we see pride in our lives? We see pride in our lives when we arrogantly think that our success has everything to do with us, deliberately seek the applause of men, live like we have life figured out, and resist help from others because we proudly feel that “I” can do it better than everyone else, etc. Think about your life right now, “How does pride show up in your life?” Let me warn you as men, this is OUR “kryptonite” and our downfall (Proverbs 16:8, 29:23). The Bible teaches us that pride always precedes destruction and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

So what can we do? Should we all walk around sheepishly, with no sense of worth, speaking a little above a whisper to show everyone around us that we aren’t prideful? Not at all! The answer for our prideful hearts is in Scripture. In James 4:6, James says, “that God gives grace to the humble.” In other words, God stiff arms the proud but GIVES His grace (undeserved kindness) to those that humble themselves. You may ask, "How do we humble ourselves?" Repent often, turning our focus from ourselves “as the almighty great one” to Jesus Christ, our greatest picture of “true greatness.”

Listen to me, when the world presses on you to be “great in your own eyes” or you convince yourself that you need to be “the man” in order for the people around you to be impressed with you, repent often, recognizing that you are nothing apart from the goodness and grace of God. You see, Jesus, although God, humbled himself, came to the earth as a lowly human servant, lived a sinless life and died on a cursed cross so that we could be forgiven for our sins and not have to experience the wrath of God (Philippians 2:5-11). We are called to follow Jesus (God), who humbled himself being made low but yet was exalted by the Father (God).

Brothers, I’m in the journey with you! Let’s follow hard after Jesus, allowing Him to show us our pride that wanes deep in our hearts as well as the grace that He is given as well. My prayer for you over the next couple weeks is that you will come to grips with your pride and realize your desperate need for Jesus Christ. We’ll engage around this topic for the next few weeks. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

In the meantime be praying, “Lord, help me live each day completely dependent and trusting in you for everything I need and not myself.” Praying for you!

Welcome!

Welcome men to “For HIM.” I am so pumped about the privilege to engage with each one of you in a way that will enhance your lives spiritually. For those of you that I don’t know, I desire to get to know you personally.

I’m always intrigued by how our decisions literally can transform our lives. You made a great decision in joining. I can confidently say that your life will never be the same. My assurance is not due to anything that I bring to the table but because transformation is always the outcome of desiring and seeking to know more about Jesus Christ.

When I took the plunge to know Him more intimately, I had no idea how refreshing life would become. I’m praying that same prayer for each one of you… Have you ever had someone say, “I’ll pray for you and wondered whether they really prayed for you?” Well, know that I’m praying for each one of you everyday, that Jesus would be made known to you more and more. As a matter of fact, as He does, feel free to share it so that we all can benefit from your story.

I’m proud of you men for desiring truth and I look forward to bringing His truth to you. Please don’t hesitate to invite others regardless of where they may be on their spiritual journey. Here’s a nugget to meditate on… “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, if you abide (remain) in my word you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (ESV-English Standard Version)